I never thought that after two months back in America I could possibly still have such strong feelings about my time abroad. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined how huge of an impact this experience would have on my life. I knew it would be a great time, but I always expected my return to America to be comforting. I thought I would come back home, where I would feel like I belonged, and where I would continue right where I left off. I would be happy to see all my friends I left behind. I would keep working towards my goal of attending law school next fall and becoming a lawyer. I wouldn't have any doubts.
Yet, here I am, one week away from the LSATs, three months away from graduation, trying to find a job to fill the gap before beginning law school in the fall, and totally disenchanted. I'm going through the motions, but in my head I'm still stuck walking along the Neckarwiese and down the cobblestone streets of Heidelberg, exploring the villages and beaches of Greece and Morrocco, and experiencing cultures completely unlike my own. I'm visiting ancient ruins and castles, trying new foods, and meeting some of the most amazing and interesting people I've ever met - but it's all in my memories now. I'm not ready to accept that. I got a taste of the world and now I need the whole thing. Thinking about growing up and the monotony of working every day sitting behind a desk makes me sick. I need to live my life while I still can. I've never felt such a rush of excitement and passion as I have while traveling and living abroad. I've never felt so alive.
So here I am, faced with a life changing decision. Should I be responsible and continue on with the plan? Or should I take my chances and follow my heart? I would love to be back in Germany again, but is that really truly what I want?
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